Before becoming pregnant for the first time I always viewed pregnancy as just the next step after marriage. When a couple is ready to try for a baby, they try and boom-they have a baby 9 months later. 3 failed pregnancies and 2 years of disappointment and devastation later, I know that is not the case at all for so many people. Pregancies end in tragedy more times than people ever want to acknowledge. It just isn't talked about.
Through each pregnancy Griff and I experienced, I began to become more and more knowledgable about what happens at each stage of pregnancy. But until our fourth pregnancy with Maile when I was feeling it and watching it progress, I don't think I was able to comprend how much of a miracle a baby is. I am the first one to admit that I used to take pregnancy for granted. I got pregnant for the first time very easily and from the beginning I was oblivous that anything could or would go wrong. At 10 weeks along I was thinking about names, nursery colors, and carseats. My world was shaken and my heart broken when we lost the first baby. Repeat that 2 more times in 2 years and I was pretty discouraged.
My discouragement was turned into awe when I was pregnant with Maile. At every stage of the pregnancy I just could not wrap my head around how incredibly amazing the body is and how God designed pregnancy. If you take a second and just really think about what happens from conception to birth it is mind-boggling. I honestly still can't wrap my head around it. So many things have to happen in a certain order and timeframe, so many things can go wrong at any point, and yet how many pregnancies result in births every single day!!!!
Every morning I am greeted with a smiling, cooing, wiggle worm of a baby who is dying to be held. She looks into my eyes and knows I am her mom. Every night I get the chance to snuggle with her and watch as she falls asleep on my shoulder. Throughout the day I just marvel at her tiny toes, her minute fingernails, her beautiful eyes...I could go on and on. But that is just what we can see. How about her heart beating, her blood flowing, her bones growing, her senses heightening, her brain developing. It seems that everyday she can do something new.
Babies are miracles, not something that just happens. I will never again take for granted what pregnancy means. When you realize that it is dream of many that will never become a reality for one reason or another, it makes it even that much more real for me to never, ever take it for granted.
I believe in miracles and Maile Grace is our miracle that I wasn't sure we would ever have.